so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
