she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
