you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
