trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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