I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
