yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
