Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
