Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
