I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
