those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
