Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
