the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
