walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
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Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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