When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
