Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Text me some of your sweat
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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