I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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