Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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