You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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