never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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