I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
