so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
