They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
