Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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