It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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