It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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