You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
50% drunk capacity currently
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
