you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
