yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
