You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
