i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
