It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize