Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
