Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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