dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Found the puke drawer
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
