the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
