He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
