I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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