If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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