Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
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