i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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