so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
