so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I should be sponsored by Trojan
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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