Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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