I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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