its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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