Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
