I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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