but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
