I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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