RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
