my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
