So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
