apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
my shit smells like andre
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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