i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
