now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize