Have you finally orgasmed yet?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
