the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
i now understand why vodka
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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