i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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