its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize