We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
