i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
