I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
