We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
