he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
where are my eyebrows?
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