I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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