you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
