who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
