my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
