Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize