sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
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I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
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They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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